In the world of commercial insurance and employee benefits, the “pitch” is an art form. Brokers arrive armed with beautiful slide decks, buzzword-heavy mission statements, and promises of “strategic partnership.” But if you’ve been around the block a few times, you know that broker-speak is a dialect all its own.
To help you navigate your next broker introduction, we’ve put together a handy translation guide. Here is what they’re saying, what they’re actually thinking with a little tongue-in-cheek mixed in.
The Classics (A Quick Refresher)
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“We are well-positioned to help you grow.”
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Translation: Our churn rate is terrifying, and if we don’t land your account, I might have to sell my boat.
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“You need a modern broker.”
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Translation: We’ve replaced our customer service department with a chatbot named “Gary” who only understands three commands. Good luck!
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“We’re a global leader!”
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Translation: We went on a debt-fueled shopping spree and bought twelve agencies in three countries. No, our systems don’t talk to each other yet.
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“We are an Insurtech broker… actually, make that an AI broker.”
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Translation: We have a very expensive subscription to a software we don’t know how to use, but the logo looks great on a tote bag.
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New Additions to the Dictionary
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“We offer a proprietary, holistic approach to risk.”
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Translation: We have a custom-branded Excel spreadsheet that took an intern three weeks to build. It’s mostly just colorful pie charts.
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“We have unparalleled leverage with the carriers.”
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Translation: We take the regional VP out to dinner once a quarter and hope they remember our name when we ask for a 2% discount.
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“Our team is lean and agile.”
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Translation: Everyone is doing the job of three people. If your account manager goes on vacation, your emails are entering a black hole.
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“We’ve moved to a consultative fee-based model.”
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Translation: The commissions on your current plan weren’t high enough to cover our overhead, so we’re just going to bill you directly.
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“We focus on ‘disrupting’ the traditional renewal cycle.”
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Translation: We’re going to send you the proposal at 4:45 PM on a Friday, three days before your policy expires, so you don’t have time to shop around.
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“We provide ‘white-glove’ service.”
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Translation: We will answer the phone on the first ring for the first thirty days. After that, please refer to “Gary” the chatbot mentioned above.
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“We are deep in the ‘Value-Added’ space.”
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Translation: We’re going to send you a generic HR newsletter once a month that you will immediately move to your “Junk” folder.
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The Bottom Line
Many brokers do an amazing job serving their clients, but like anyone in sales will try to differentiate their business from the next. The key to a great fit for your company isn’t finding the broker with the most “AI-driven, global, modern” buzzwords; it’s finding the one who is willing to drop the script and tell you the truth.
Next time you hear a phrase that sounds a little too polished, feel free to pull out this dictionary. Or better yet, ask them: “That sounds great, but what does that look like on a Tuesday morning when I need help with a claim?” The silence that follows will tell you everything you need to know.
